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Bottle of Wine and a Bible

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I think it's fair to tell our friends the origin of the website name: 

 

Last weekend, I was telling Jess about a very dark period of my life a few years ago. Every day after work, I would go to the gym then home and sit in front of the fire all night with a bottle of wine and a Bible. I tried to go into further detail about my routine, explaining that some nights I would go straight to my papasan chair still in my workout clothes, some nights I would never even make it to bed but sleep in the chair instead (it was a comforting place), and some nights I wouldn't even bother with a glass but drink straight from the bottle. Jess was still mulling the ironic combination, though. She repeated, “A bottle of wine and a Bible.” We laughed knowing there was nothing laughable about the situation. 

 

So what was so intriguing about it? Why am I willing to share that awful rut in my life with all of you? Because I think we all have experienced that hopeless despair at some point. I think we all know that moment when, even though we know how low we feel, we're steadily thanking God that we can cling to Him. We take comfort in the depth of His love that we're allowed that indulgence, despite how much we do not deserve it. Am I wrong that each one of us is even less deserving than everyone else we know? Do we not all believe deep inside ourselves that, if our community knew us the way we know ourselves, then they would see how much more we really must rely on grace than they do? 

 

But, in our moment of despair, we know that God knows that hidden person within us, and He still loves us. We might be torn apart on the inside but we cling to His faithfulness because He never lets us be truly alone, no matter how lonely we feel. So we hold on by our fingernails to His love, the greatest constant in our lives, until finally we feel a firm footing. Then we turn around and cry joyfully and kiss the ground thanking God that He brought us through. 

 

So you see - a bottle of wine and a Bible is more than a tragic phase - it's the hope of our faith and proof of His glory. At least for me, it’s symbolic of my journey with Christ. I’m a sinner. I am more a sinner than I care to admit and I cannot stop being a sinner, but I’m a sinner holding tight to my Bible. I will not stop asking God to fight the sinner in me for me. And, frankly, a bottle of wine and a Bible makes for really good conversation!

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I'm a single mom of two beautiful girls who still feels like a child most of the time myself. I am blessed to be loved by God and am just trying to learn more about that and remember to share it with others.

Comments

  • Jessica
    Jessica Monday, 07 January 2013

    Truly, who better to ask for help? Especially in our darkest times, when we are at our worst, that is when we need Him most. You are wise beyond your years.

  • Laurie Green
    Laurie Green Monday, 07 January 2013

    Wish I were wise enough to figure out how to set to my profile!

  • Jessica
    Jessica Monday, 07 January 2013

    It comes from the forum. Go to the forum and click 'profile' then 'edit'. :D

  • Sam
    Sam Wednesday, 09 January 2013

    a few words in there tickled a feather of recognition and i dug this up from a whole lotta years ago!!

    BLACK:
    I feel it closing around
    I am going down
    Color starts to fade
    He, by whom I was made
    Is sliding away
    Or is it me going astray
    Darkness is falling
    Consuming me and calling
    I must fight
    Do what is right
    I can walk that line
    No longer shall I whine
    I will be strong
    His word I will carry on
    And together we will do great things
    Cause I hear the beat of angle’s wings

    Sam Pennell 10:15 pm January 31, 2007

  • Jessica
    Jessica Thursday, 10 January 2013

    Sam, I LOVE this poem!

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