“I don’t know what I may seem to the world, but as to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” – Sir Isaac Newton
What do I want from my life?
That is a loaded question that most people can’t answer except in broad generalities like success, happiness, and love. I on the other hand am a deep thinker and have contemplated this a lot over the years. My answer is a bit different and in a way short and sweet as well as long and drawn out. SO… what do I want from my life? I can divide it into two small answers but they have large sub-answers themselves. Live for my God and love my wife like no one has loved another person.
First and foremost, I want to never lose my Faith in my God and serve him daily. I want to participate in at least one large mission or project for God every year. I want to mentor young men to follow God in their lives, works, and relationships. I want to make a positive difference in as many people’s lives as I can.
Secondly and the more involved is I want a wife to love like no other but not just any wife. I want a wife that loves God as much as I do. I want her to get annoyed at me and fuss at me when I don’t take the trash out or forget to ask her how she is doing instead of holding back and thinking I don’t care. I want to fight over the little things. I want her to drag me to cocktail parties, fairs, flea markets and events even on opening day of deer season. I want her to give me babies (either human or fur-babies) and raise them together full of respect and love for God. I want her to let me drag her along on fishing trips or jeep trips or car shows even if she isn’t into it. I want us to go together and do so many things that we both love dearly. I want her to smile at me when I come home from work (be it shift at the firehouse or some other job) and give me a kiss and let me pat her on the butt. I want to take care of our parents as they age.
While these are by no means anywhere near a complete list, it was easy for me to assemble it. The harder question to answer in this line of thinking is one I learned to ask early in life much to my mother’s dismay I am sure. WHY? Why do I want these things? Most have probably already asked themselves that while reading this at least once. Well allow me to explain if I can.
Sustaining my Faith in God stems from how He has sustained me through so many hard times in my life. His love never gives up and is an example for me to follow. Mission work was one of the commands given that I think is least followed today by believers. We were told to “GO” make disciples, and words in red are meant to be heeded. Mentoring young men is important to my Faith and our society. I was without a strong Godly mentor for a large part of my young adulthood and my Faith and walk suffered. In making a positive difference I am allowed to be the change I want to see in the world even if it is a small one and also my life will live on in those men after I am gone.
Now to the ones that most might wonder about. I want a wife because life is lonely. I am content being alone and am happy in my “solitude” as it were, but I desire that connection and shared life that comes with marriage. If I am going to have a wife she will have to share my Faith.
If she is fussing over me not doing things or not asking about her and how she is doing means she cares enough not to let dust settle on anything that doesn’t feel quite right and remind me that I’m not being the best man I can be for her. Her love drives her to resolve small conflicts before they become big ones. If the big things are solid, all we have to fight over are small things, and you can’t make up if you don’t fight!
Dragging me to things I wouldn’t normally do on my own builds me as a man and expands my horizons making me a better man. It is also an opportunity to learn more about her and find more reasons to fall in love with her. I am intent on dating my wife until the day I die. Never letting well enough alone constantly learning her as often as I possible. Doing the things that she loves with her while smiling and even developing real interest in them will bring true joy into her life and enrich it even if that entails rooting for her teams begrudgingly with love and good natured teasing. Sacrifice is an integral part of marriage and relationships in general. Giving up a prime hunting or fishing day to accompany her to something is a small price to pay for her joy and one she will likely repay allowing me another day I wouldn’t normally get to go do those things.
Joining our lives and love with another being that depends on us for survival strengthens and deepens our own love. Sharing emotions be it grief, hate, anger, or love spreads that emotion and in turn deepens and strengthens it, so sharing love is important. Me sharing things I like and love with her is important for the same reason that I want her to drag me along on shopping trips or the like.
Mutual joy is where the magic is though. Be it taking a boat ride to watch the sunset, or an afternoon walk, or a vacation around the world, being in sync with one another and sharing those experiences is the subfloor on top of the foundation of the relationship. That foundation under it consisting of love, faith, and the ability to share those worries about things that come out as fussing and nagging. I strive to be open to criticism and encouragement and welcome it when I am not meeting relationship expectations. Relationships are work and if you both desire it to last there is literally no obstacle that can’t be overcome. People change to keep things in their lives that they want there.
The comfort and closeness of being together is when the shared love is deepened. Quality time and joy at a reunion after time apart, ever how short or long, is an expression of the deep lasting kind of love. The physical attraction that grows out of love is better than anything portrayed in our society and last so much longer. The desire to always see that attraction in her eyes is a great motivator to work on that side of the relationship just as much as the emotional one.
Honoring our origins is important for the fact that they are where we came from and who had a large part in making us who we are. Loving her parents is just an extension of my love for her and her love for me. Our parent’s relationships will constantly provide us with things to learn from, both what to do and what not to do. As they progress in life from providing for us, it is only fitting that we return that as they age.
The origin of all this stems from a friend who asked me if I knew what I wanted and could I explain it to someone. The specifics outside of that little bit aren’t as important as the thoughts that were inspired for me to finally put down on paper what it is I desire to have in this life. While most people might find it odd that I don’t have any professional goals listed at all, it isn’t so strange to me. My joy doesn’t come from what I do but rather who I do it with and who I do it for. I know I haven’t succeeded in living up to these things so far in my life but as is with everything in life, it is a journey and very much like work to being the man you want to be.